Category Archives: Self

Since I’ve Been Gone

Forgive me for the Kelly Clarkson reference, but I literally couldn’t help myself, it was sitting there like old bread in the fridge, waiting to be used. Eh eh (clears throat). Anyway, suffice it to say I’ve been gone from blogging for a little while. I had some family things going on that I needed to tend to, not to mention the fact that winter was sucking the life out of my soul as it does each year. I mean really, once Christmas and the New Year have passed, winter is the guest that has more than overstayed his welcome. It’s time to go winter, you be killin’ my vibe son. (I’ve also been watching too much of The League, my vernacular has been experiencing some detrimental changes.)

If my tongue in cheek demeanor and new blog post haven’t made it clear: I’m back.

You’re welcome.

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Rolls, and not the dinner kind…

All the time, and I really do mean all the time, women and girls alike mention my weight in some capacity. How I eat and I don’t gain weight. How I have a good shape or something else along those lines. Here is a message to you guys: YOU ARE IN BETTER SHAPE THAN ME.

"You little girls ain't got shit on me."

“You little girls ain’t got shit on me.”

Image via http://www.2medusa.com/2009/12/pro-ana-futures-not-pretty.html

Honestly. I am in terrible shape. The last time I actively worked out was over a year ago. The last time I saw the inside of a gym was several months ago. I probably thought it was a Starbucks. People say it all the time, but I don’t think women really hear it; just because someone is skinny doesn’t mean she or she is healthy. I eat like shit. I just happen to not eat that often, and I have pretty fast metabolism. Now you’re reading this and thinking “This bitch.” Hold on, this is not a good thing, because it just reinforces unhealthy habits. I have plenty of friends who are bigger than me and in way better shape. You should see me go up a flight of stairs. Actually, no you shouldn’t, I’m sure you’ve seen ASPCA ads that looked less pitiful. So be proud of the way you look and be healthy. That’s been my goal since I collect colds like stamps, which probably has something to do with my shitty health. I’ll keep you updated on my new health track. If only to provide you with a few laughs.

These women look healthy and amazing!

These women look healthy and amazing! From left to right: Christina Aguilera, Christina Hendricks and Jill Scott.

Images via

1. http://www.justjared.com/2012/09/16/christina-aguilera-alma-awards-arrival/

2. http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2012/08/21/christina-hendricks-shops-around-socal-with-a-friend/christina-hendricks-210812-4/

3. http://www.soulbounce.com/soul/2007/10/jill_scott_rocks_the_red_carpe.php

Other Articles on Healthy Bodies:

http://magazine.foxnews.com/celebrity/7-celebs-normal-bodies

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2012/02/16/sports-illustrated-cover-girl-kate-upton-is-not-relatable-shes-a-model/

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So It’s a New Year…

new-years-resolution

Here in NYC the New Year’s celebrations are in full swing and while everyone is sharing smooches, they’re also sharing their lame New Year’s Resolutions. Let’s go through a few:

1. I’m going to the gym/losing weight.
2. I’m going to find love this year.
3. I’m going to break up with my shitty boyfriend/girlfriend.
4. I’m going to take risks.
5. I’m going to be more responsible.

Bullshit.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having goals. Goals are great, but you should know that goals don’t come around once a year. They don’t have a start time and New Year’s should not be the only time we decide to better our lives. If you want to go to the gym, do it to be healthy, not to fulfill some silly goal of looking like Jillian Michaels (who would want to, she looks insane.) If you want to find a significant other, please don’t go out there manically searching for the right one, then coming off as bat-shit crazy. You have a shitty boyfriend, toss him, preferably before the New Year if he sucks so much and if you want to take more risks or be more responsible, just do it already. The New Year isn’t a magic lamp. Do you and do what it takes.

But do take advantage of the New Year Gym memberships, it’s like they’re handing them out for free ;).

Happy New Year!!

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