Tag Archives: Jersey Shore

The Banned List

Not up in here

Not up in here

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When I was a wee one in high school, we would observe Banned Books Week. If you’re unfamiliar with this, it’s a week during which people share and read various books that have been banned over the years due to content. I would get so excited to read these books because it felt so taboo (clearly I didn’t have much of a life) and then I would read the whole book and realized it was banned because page 137 and the word “witch” on it. What a buzz kill, those books were banned for some bullshit reasons. However, lately I’ve been thinking about my own list of things that should be banned for legitimate reasons. The following is a list of clothes that I wish to never see on people’s backs ever again.

5. Ed Hardy
I feel as though this has been said, but not enough people are listening. Please, please, PLEASE stop wearing Ed Hardy. This is not cute. It simply does not look good. I’m not even sure if those Jersey Shore guys are wearing it anymore, if they are I’m sure it’s for the show’s benefit, and they probably pull the shirts over their heads with remorse. It’s not just guys, women are trying (the operative word being TRYING because there is ZERO success.) to incorporate it into their outfits as well. Ed Hardy rain boots are not an appropriate exception. There is no exception. Just stop.

4. Graphic Tees
Whoa calm down, not all of them, just the ones that don’t make any sense. Time and time again, I’ll be out shopping and someone is either wearing or reaching for one of those tees with tribal art and then a random wolf’s head atop a lone tree. What? What is that? These people aren’t even wearing these shirt’s ironically. These graphic tees have got to go.

3. Fleece Vests
This one was pointed out to me by a very close friend, and I have to whole-heartedly agree. So what happened, your chest was cold, but your arms didn’t get the memo? I’m not following. Then what happens, you wear a long sleeve shirt, so you chest is twice as hot as your arms? Do you buy separate sleeves and then forgo an actual shirt? Are you seeing how the value of a fleece vest is limited. And fleece is different from a bubble vest. If I’m committing to a bubble vest, it’s safe to say that I’m layering for the cold, but fleece is more of a fall/spring item, and reaching a happy medium with it will be difficult. Don’t do it.

2. Pointed boots.
Remember this: round-toe is the way to go. Pointed pumps you may be able to get away with, but boots?? I don’t think so. I have yet to see pointed boot that has looked fashionable since the turn of the century. I was at a bar a couple months back and a girl thought she was rocking a pair of these. She had on a stretchy, black corset top, a red, bodycon skirt and pair of those god-awful boots. It wasn’t Halloween, she just looked bad. Leave those boots alone.

3765897105_4b97022028

She said “Ooh, I look GOOD.”
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1. Thigh High Boots
This needs little explanation. Stripper shoes.

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